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So sexual-massage, yeah? It’s like a massage, but spicy, innit. Them hands ain’t just kneadin’ ya back - they’re goin’ *places*, fam. Little-known fact - back in ancient times, them Chinese emperors was gettin’ these rubs to “balance their chi” or summat. Probs just an excuse to get freaky, haha! Makes me laff thinkin’ about some posh git in a robe tryna play it cool while he’s all oiled up.

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But then, just when I think it’s over, I get a call from a lady on Rua do Comércio. She’s yelling about a “mysterious smell” in her apartment. I’m like, “Lady, I’m not a detective or a plumber!” But she’s relentless. I tell her to check her fridge. Spoiler alert: it was old cheese.

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